Reflection!!!

Cant really understand the very own brain of mine. Amidst chaos it finds solace and in silence it is most chaotic... Keep me busy and I am the most happiest person... The minute i have time on hand and nothing better to do my mind is in chaos... Cant think of reasons why? When i am amidst strangers the facade of a happy and complete in control of situation face takes over... The minute i am with my own people I try and protect them... But what is it that I really Want??? I question that and come to a dead end. Nothing has been the way I wanted and yet everything is perfect... Why cant we be happy and satisfied with what we have and why do we ask for more... Be it job, friends or relations... Nothing what we have seems good enough. While you are in company of friends, you crave for the solitude and silence, whereas you miss the same as soon as you are away from them. Just when everyone around me thought I am the happiest, I was trying to hide the pain and tears of dissapointment. Sometimes its you my friend, some times its just me! Trying to understand you my brain has been a wasted effort yet I try and hope to sort the mystery that looms around you!!!